I am constantly on the hunt for a good solid reason for hating monkeys. Because I really, really don't like them. It is borderline irrational. But I feel like there has to have been some sort of bad experience that I can blame it on.
Oh you think they're awesome and cute 'cause they're furry and vocal and groom themselves and have hands and feet with opposable thumbs? Wrong. Monkeys are the worst.
Most likely candidates for why I really, really don't like monkeys:
The Monkey King from Big Bird in China. I used to watch this movie every time I got sick, which if you know me at all, means I watched it a few times a month as a kid. The monkey king would make me nervous. He had some cray-cray makeup on, and he was always popping in-and-out of the frame because he was magical. And he didn't move like a normal person. Probably because he was trying to be a Monkey King. It didn't matter that he was theoretically a good guy, trying to help Big Bird find the phoenix bird, giving clues and such. He was always mild-to-moderately creepy. A strong contender.
The movie Congo. Have you seen this movie? Because this movie was not appropriate for small
children... and I saw it several times as a small child. They lure you in with the sweet talking gorilla at the beginning,[they outfit a quasi-domesticated gorilla with a device that converts her sign-language into speech] then the researchers decide they need to take the gorilla into the Congo to see how wild gorillas would react to a gorilla that speaks.
Spoiler alert: It doesn't end well.
