Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Top ten most memorable moments from Teen Girl Squad

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please reconsider your misspent youth.  Because this is what my friends and I watched at b'grl parties in middle and early high school :)  So visit this website when you have a free hour or ten, and relive the glory days of the early 'naughts.  But in the meantime, enjoy the fact that I could make all these references without looking them up.



Honorable Mention #1: A wave of babies.

I admit What's-her-face, this one doesn't make sense.  You were the only one smart enough to not jump in the lion's mouth.  But you get punished somehow by a hawaiian man drowning you in a wave of babies?  I guess it's not the weirdest manner of death in this series. But still. Memorable.



Honorable Mention #2: Hi Brett.  Thanks, you've filled out nicely too.

Oh So-and-so and talking to the imaginary boyfriend you made up in the first grade.  Maybe if you were watching where you were going you wouldn't have fallen down that bottomless spirit pit.  When you fall down a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.  Someone throw that girl a juice box.  Or maybe some lunchables.


10. I think my friends and some presidents just flew by.

Because hilarious things always happen when you're not there.  This one's for you What's-her-face.  I never understood why they remembered to invite The-ugly-one but not you.



9: That tompkins is such a renegade.

You hear that girls? Pizza belongs in a triangle.  But So-and-so, I am shocked you were so easily swayed away from your imaginary boyfriend!  But no worries--worldwide starlets get much boys.... or so I have read.



8. Your stepmom has questionable taste.  And like a million jogging suits.

Because where else would you practice with your made-up band Kissy Boots?  Step-mom Judith's walk-in closet of course.



7. Poss-ums.

What's-her-face reminds us to always use caution when walking home unaccompanied from the thrift store.  Especially since all the clothes smell like Grandmas. Apparently that attracts possums.



6. Now I can overachieve like a bandit!

TEN-O-CLOCK AND TWO-O-CLOCK.  So-and-so, you are a girl after my own heart.  With Cheerleader gone, it looks like the start of a kinder, gentler squad of teen girls.



5. And then crazy-learner's-permit-girl game me a ride to babbages.

What?!  They don't even have any turbo-graphx games???  You might as well have just eaten a heaping bowl of staple sauce.  Because corn chips are no place for a mighty warrior.



4. I'm. Hesitant.

Because you should never jump into a lion's mouth.  Even for a holiday decemberween gift exchange.  Once again What's-her-face, you are a paragon of knowledge. A gift card for fashion?? How did you know!?



3. Wiggedy-wack? Nope.  Just regular type.

Ya'll are so wack! It's moments like these that I remember just how many of my euphemisms come from Teen Girl Squad.  Thank you cheerleader.



2. Grood.  I mean Great.  And  good.  Good and great.

Stop saying words! You just try and recover from that one Cheerleader. We all know you'll get your comeuppance one of these days. (Cerebellum'd!)  And in the mean time, we will just keep quoting this one.  At least weekly.


1. Weirded Out.

The only appropriate response when you discover your friend talking to her imaginary boyfriend.  Points for you What's-her-face.  Especially for coining probably my most-used phrase ever.