I mustache you a question

After a recent conversation, I am forced to re-evaluate all my childhood memories.  'Cause turns out I'm crazy.  Or, as I prefer to think of it, my brain is just remarkably creative.

In the house I grew up in, I knew the dead bolt was locked when it looked like this.  Well,  mostly like this.  Approximately like this.

Mostly it looked like it was a face with a mustache.  So, in the grand tradition of Stephanie, I made up a quasi-mnemonic device that really serves no good purpose.  In this case, during my daily manifestation of early on-set paranoia, I would ask myself if the door was locked.  I would glance at it and think, oh good.  Mustache.

The mustache became not just linked, but synonymous with security.  Can we talk about the irony there?

I have since suffered multiple setbacks upon realizing that some dead bolts look like this

What am I supposed to think when I see that?  Nose?  Beak?  Everyone knows that noses and beaks have nothing to do with dead bolts.  It's absurd.  Irrational.

Even worse are these

Okay.  I can see that it says locked.  And I can see an arrow.  But actually you mean that it's locked when it's at a weird angle.  Okay.  Cool.  I'll never remember that.